


Slow Motion

by 852_Prospect_Archivist



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Angst, Drama, M/M, h/c
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 07:42:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/795586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/852_Prospect_Archivist/pseuds/852_Prospect_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Um, see story! I keep screwing this part up. LOL.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Slow Motion

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written anything in a while, and my need for drama and angst have been assaulting me as I lay in bed at night, trying desperately to fall asleep, yet unable to fight off the visual images in my head of THIS story. This will most likely become a series, no matter how short-lived, and I'm just glad to be writing. Also, can someone please inform me how to search the archive for stories with the theme, 'Blair becomes a cop despite force discrimination..."? There are a couple I've been wanting to save, but can't remember for the LIFE of me who wrote them or what they're called. Incidentally, one of them has Blair being roughed up in the academy...if you have ANY idea what I'm talking about, PLEASE email me!!! 

## Slow Motion

by Jvantheterrible

* * *

Slow Motion 

Date: March 20th - 30th, 2002  
Author: Jvantheterrible  
Rating: R, for violence, language, angst, h/c, & m/m relationship Disclaimer: AS IF. Not mine, never will be. No monies being made from this, or else I'd be rich and DOING THIS W/MY OWN CHARACTERS! Category: Drama & angst. J/B are already lovers, and Blair IS a cop. Summary: Blair is injured in the line of duty as Jim watches. (Helplessly, I might add.) NOT a death story. From Jim's POV. Feedback: Welcomed at duranjaxter@comcast.net. Flames? If I suck that bad, don't read this! I have other fic out there. LOL. I know I keep screwing up the damn archive by putting my comments in HERE, but if I do it any other way, I'll forget what the hell I wanted to say in the first place. Oh, and enjoy. <g>

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

I love you more than my own life; you must know that by now. Every day that we leave the loft and head for the station - ever since you gave up all those offers once your mom leaked out the diss and Simon offered you the badge - I panic when I even imagine that something might happen to you. 

I watch you. Even as you strut across the massive parking lot of the abandoned warehouse that we're staking out today, clad in your favorite 'dressy jeans' (as you call them), your gorgeous curls blowing in the breeze, your flannel flapping around your body (but not quite covering your tight little ass). I can't believe that you're mine. Finally, after all this time; after all the years we spent just being roommates and best friends. All the camping and fishing trips; some with Simon, most without...you're mine, Chief. And I love you so much. And as I watch you move closer to the warehouse, I practice those deep breathing exercises you taught me; I'm on the verge of a panic attack. I should be the one sidling up to that building right now, not you. Never you, Blair. I should be there, listening in and trying to catch a glimpse of the perps; but I have no choice. 

This is your bust, and it's your turn. I can't take that away from you, and I don't want to. You've done all the research and this is your case, and I can't interfere. I don't dare, 'Cop of the Year' or not. It's undoubtedly my turn to wait in the proverbial truck, and painful though it may be, I have no choice but to abide by your wishes. God, I just wish you'd taken me with you... 

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

It's been nearly an hour now, and you're still crouched down outside that goddamn warehouse; God knows your legs are cramped, but you're still giving me hand signals to stay back, that you haven't been able to verify the goings-on inside. I'm itching to run across the massive expanse of blacktop separating us, but I stay put; you're way too far away from me for my comfort, but this is your show. I let you do this your way. 

Because I know you would do the same, Chief. Not just out of respect for my wishes, but because you know how important it would be for me to close this up my way; if it were my case. But it's not my case, and so I wait. And I breathe. And I do the only thing that gives me any comfort whatsoever at this point...I watch you. I listen to your heartbeat and I close my eyes and I focus, because it's the only thing that gives me any kind of reprieve from the fear I'm feeling - and sensing from you as well. 

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

Finally, after another 15 minutes or so have passed, there's activity from you - directly before I hear the revving of the engine from the van that transported those bastards in the first place. I see your hands motion for the cavalry and me to head on in, and I act immediately...but they don't. They didn't see your signal, and I was unable to convey it any clearer than I already had when I shouted, "go, Go, GO!" into the radio. 

Fucking Vice cops; you and I have known for a fact that they've whispered about us behind our backs for some time now, but I never really believed that they would betray us like this. Simon sent Vice in on a technicality, because it WAS their jurisdiction...if only they'd responded in kind. Without Simon there to order them, they hesitated, and I could hear them as they snickered. I watched and listened in absolute horror as you tried to run away from that godforsaken building, all the while listening to their 'faggot' remarks while they let you try to sprint towards safety; towards me. 

I saw the window of the van roll down so clearly; it's almost like a dream at this point. I watched as the muzzle of the semi-automatic rifle aimed towards you; I screamed your name futilely as you ran for cover - as you ran for me. I couldn't protect you, and everything after that didn't matter as far as my Sentinel senses were concerned. I'll never forget what happened next, as long as I live. And hopefully, for as long as you live too. My love, my life, my soul, my other half. 

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

"Sandburg! GET DOWN," I screamed at you, but you were too far away and not blessed with my 'gift' as you so eloquently put it five years ago, "BLAIR!" I shouted your name with everything inside of my very being, but you continued to sprint across the blacktop, and I'll never forget that vision of you... 

...your curls blowing out behind you in the breeze, your flannel flapping in the wind, your ever-present white tee-shirt plastered to your chest as you raced towards me. I watched, feeling as though I was stuck in my position even though I ran towards you, as you ran towards me. I nearly Zoned on your chest hair peeking up from beneath that flimsy cotton - as I took in your legs pumping and your accelerated heartbeat and the look of relief and the half-smile on your face as we neared one another - and then it happened. 

I heard the shot as it was fired from the rapidly departing van, but I paid it no attention as I watched you try to reach me. My thoughts, my feelings, my very heart remained with you as you trained those gorgeous baby blue eyes directly into mine - even as you ran for your very life - and I nearly lost myself as I watched you. You ran ever closer towards me, your arms outstretched, and it was that exact moment that everything faded into slow motion. 

"Juh..ungh," was the last thing you said as the bullet hit you in the back. You staggered for several seconds before stopping where you stood, and I screamed your name as I finally reached where you had halted. I watched you fall to your knees, the tears already pooling in my eyes as I barely managed to catch you before you fell forward onto the unforgiving blacktop. 

You collapsed into my open arms, chest heaving, moaning in pain that managed to seep through the adrenalin rush of the chase. "Blair," I cried, panicked as I tried to shut out all the murmurs from the rest of the team in the background, "No...Chief, come on buddy, stay with me," I sobbed as I felt your life's blood soak into my sleeve where you rested in my arms. I did my damnedest to apply pressure under you, against your back where the bullet had gone in, but I didn't know how much good I was doing in the state I was in. 

Your gorgeous lips tried to form words, tried to expel air in the shape of some endearment or other that just couldn't escape; your lung had been pierced; why didn't you wear a fucking vest, goddammit? I didn't even care about safety measures anymore...all that mattered to me was that you kept breathing. But you weren't doing so well, Chief. You were gasping for air in my arms, coughing and spluttering up blood on your chin and my chest, and all I could do was scream for the team to call a fucking ambulance. 

They took their sweet goddamn time to call (a whole fucking five minutes by the time they quit sneering and making jokes), but I finally heard the sirens some five additional minutes later. I kept my lips close to your cheek, kissed you tenderly - in spite of what the other men saw and would think - and whispered brokenly for you to stay with me. Stay with me, Blair. You're all I need, Blair, all I need to keep going. All I need to wake up to tomorrow and face another day. All I need to come home to at night and fall asleep next to. All I need in order to take my very next breath... 

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

I rode in the ambulance with you. I'd called Simon on my cellphone as soon as I'd heard the medics coming, reporting what had happened - as well as what I'd heard from the assholes that were supposed to be our backup - before I disconnected the call and climbed in behind your gurney. There was no way I'd let them take you away from me again. Not now and not ever, Blair. 

Simon met me at the hospital, catching me bodily as I stormed in alongside your prone form with the medics; I've never been very good with being told that I wasn't allowed to follow you into the ER, and this was certainly no exception. He held onto me firmly as I watched the team wheel you away from me, and it was as though everything went to slow motion yet again. 

I could vaguely hear the Captain talking to me, but I was so focused on you and your heartbeat that I couldn't pull myself away to totally listen to him. I turned my hearing up so that I could follow your pulse, and panicked even more when I realized how slow it was. I could hear your wheezing breaths; could practically feel you bodily as you gasped for air while they intubated you in the ER and prepared you for surgery. 

"Blair," I murmured forlornly, and Simon's hands on my shoulders, shaking me gently but bodily, brought me out of my slow-motion mode and back to the present. 

"The kid's going to be fine, Jim," he said with a measure of relief that I myself refused to accept until I heard your heartbeat strong and unfettered once more. I managed to nod slightly at him, allowing him to push me into one of the overstuffed chairs in the waiting room while you were wheeled into surgery so the bullet could be removed from where it rested - in your right lung, alongside your heart. A mere millimeter more to the left...but that didn't matter now. Nothing mattered except you. Just like always, Sandburg. Just like always before, and for evermore. 

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

I waited for hours on end, until finally they wheeled you out of surgery. They all knew us, and knew that I had to be notified the second that you were out of the OR. Once that feat was accomplished, Simon finally left to go home and sleep, and I settled in at your bedside, where you've been resting comfortably for the last two hours. 

I've replayed the events of the day over and over in my mind, and try as I might, I just can't let the insults from our so-called 'fellow cops' go. You would have been so disappointed, Blair. My heart dropped into my stomach as I listened to the comments; the snipes; the fucking cut-downs from our supposed 'brothers in blue'. I've been sitting here holding your hand that doesn't have the IV in it between both of mine, waiting for you to show some sign of waking. I'm still waiting, and so I have nothing more to do except replay the pathetic sounds of this afternoon in my head over and over, until I'm seeing red again. 

"Fucking faggot got what he deserved," Jones from Vice said once I'd fallen to my knees to catch you. "Look how fucking sick that is," he replied as his partner and several other officers murmured their agreement, "And that Ellison...Cop of the Year? He must be blowing the Mayor." Snickers were all that could be heard for several minutes, until Jones' partner started up. 

"Yeah, man...just look at those pussies," Cartwright agreed - albeit sans his partner's vehemence - as he'd watched Jim Ellison catch Blair Sandburg, both men tumbling to the blacktop, before he'd joined in once more, "Christ, I hope Ellison doesn't decide to kiss him." Cartwright of course refused to acknowledge that he'd share the MC's partners' feelings should anything similar occur to their own team. 

"Goddamn, Sandburg's a Jew, too!" Vice's top officer, John Creed, murmured to the rest of his crew as he shook his head in disbelief. 

"Yep, even more reason for him to die...I mean, more reason than being Ellison's 'Boy Toy'," Elliot Smith had replied. 

And so it went, Chief, until they had exhausted their entertaining witticisms and decided to call for an ambulance. I don't want you to know what they said about us; mostly, what they said about you; and I have resolved to keep it all to myself. I nearly choke on my own emotions as I sit here and hold your still-lifeless hand between my two healthy ones. I wish it had been me, Blair, I honestly do. But it wasn't, and no amount of pining on my part is going to fix the fact that you are now lying in a hospital bed beside me, your injured hand clutched between both of my healthy ones. 

I can't wait until you wake up. I miss you, my love; miss the gaze of your indigo eyes. Miss the sound of your laugh, miss the feel of your lips grazing mine. Please wake up soon. 

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

It's another hour before I sense your heartrate increase...you're getting ready to wake, and I'm on my feet instantly. I release the hand I've been clutching to my chest for the past three hours in some hope that you won't realize just how close you came to simply not being anymore, but the needles you immediately feel in your extremity give me away. I grab your hand once more and hold it close as you wake and try to shake off the needles of discomfort, delighted when you open your eyes and gaze up at me with that same indigo and lavender look, forsaking all other feelings and memories for the moment. 

"Jim," you whisper, and fighting as hard as I can, I fail to conceal the tears that well up when I hear your voice. It's scratchy and frail, but it's all yours, and you're directing it at me, and I have no choice but to reply, despite my melancholy meanderings of the last hour or so. 

"Blair," I answer as best as I can despite my choked-up resolve, "God, Blair. I missed you...I love you, my heart," I tell you vehemently. 

"Love you," you whisper back to me as your eyelids flutter and close, then flutter open once again. You're trying so hard to stay awake, and my heart nearly bursts from your effort. 

"Ssssh, baby...sleep now," I tell you as I stroke your forehead, pushing your errant curls back behind your ears so that you can rest. "I'll be here when you wake up, I promise. I love you so much, Blair..." my voice trails off and leaves me before I can even begin to tell you what you mean to me. 

Your only reply after that is to smile vaguely as you drift off, the corners of your beautiful mouth curled up just a bit, showing me a tender smile and all the love in your heart for me - to me - as you once more drift off. 

"I love you, Chief. I'll never leave you," I tell you as tears fall from my eyes and pool on my cheeks ever so briefly before soaking down into my shirt collar. "Always and forever, baby. Forever," I tell you as I drop my head down and kiss the knuckles of your un-IV'd hand before clutching it gently between my hands and letting it rest on your chest, against the 'thump-thump' of your heart. 

"Mmmm...love you, Jim,' I hear you whisper as your too-pale lips pull up into a slight smile once more before you drift off a final time. The reassuring 'thump-thump' of your heart is all I need to hear before I rest my chin on the edge of your bed and track all the rest of your bodily functions. Your pulse is steady, your eyes are flitting back and forth beneath their lids with the quick yet relaxed intent of nothing more than deep REM patterns, and all is well in the universe; our universe, Chief - the only Universe that matters. 

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

THE END. So there. Email me at duranjaxter@comcast.net. If you hated it, well, why did you READ it? LOL. 

* * *

End Slow Motion by Jvantheterrible: duranjaxter@comcast.net

Author and story notes above.

  
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